Recognize You

#2nd Key Towards Personal GrowthTo Heal Is To Recognize You

It has taken some time for me to get another post up due to being filled with so many topics that I desire to touch on. Before I can move forward to anything in addition I had to revisit forgiveness. I do not like to proceed forward without breaking everything down to its root. So I pray that what I am about to share really stretches you, I never come in a way to convince someone their way of thinking is wrong but to merely ask you to look at something differently in a way that you may not have before. A tree has many branches and so does the mind. Take a dive with me as I proceed forward in hopes to help those who desire change in their personal life.

  There have been many points in my life where I had to look back at the things I have done. I was careless, bitter, and hurt due to my upbringing. I sought to harm anyone who dared to step in my path. I despised love because of a lack of understanding and the fact that I never received it at home, so, I did what I FELT was needed to be done to others in order to make them feel like I felt. It didn’t make it right, but, it’s what I chose to do.  I’ve learned that “Doing what you feel isn’t always the best solution to an issue because it causes your actions to negatively affect those around you.”

As I continued to examine my life I became more apologetic because no matter how big or small the action it could have scarred that individual for life. Causing them to develop a particular viewpoint of people. They end up putting the new people that have entered their life into a stereotypical category due to one or many bad experiences which are unfair to the one on the receiving end. I was considered to be brutally honest or as one person told me, “cold-hearted” so much to the point it shocked him. What I did to him messed up his perspective to some degree because of my actions, it caused him to become bitter and cold as well. I had to learn from my choices, and I began to make sure that I keep myself in check daily before I did anything to aid anyone else.

How can anyone help another or give advice if they have not addressed their own issue(s) or have grown from them?

I needed to recognize who I truly was and to recognize my actions towards others. Had I not taken the time to heal myself I would still be stuck in the past, holding onto all of the hurts, abandonment, and pain afflicted on me, which would have resulted in deep depression and heartache, it wouldn’t have benefited anyone, because hurt people hurt other people, it’s a given thing.

I can honestly say, I truly was damaged, although I was able to excel and achieve everything I put my mind to, I still did not know who I was or what I wanted to be, my world was crashing. I lied, I stole, everything I knew I learned from what I was exposed to. At the age of twelve, I was told that I’d grow up to be a slut and I wasn’t even voluntarily sexually active. I Was a Victim of incest and molestation. So I battled myself within my mind and had no one to talk to, no one to guide or mentor me.

I believed, at an early age, that we should check ourselves before trying to check someone else. However, I found myself becoming my own judge and was way too hard on myself. Which was unhealthy, some things I buried and it returned again years later after I thought I was over it. I’ve come to realize that the only way anyone can overcome anything is by facing it. I had to accept the truth of me, then, in turn, create a new truth. I may have been sleeping around but that was not the true me. It’s something I did out of a verbal thought that has been following me after it has been told to me, I convinced myself that I was worth nothing more.